Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
