They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
