I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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