I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
