I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
