It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
should my penis look like a turkey
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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