I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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