Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize