we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
