My hand turned me down
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
