I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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