I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
