I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
