Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
