see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
