is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
