Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize