New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
