I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
