WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
