haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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