I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I touched a dick in church today
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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