There was a lot of him and a little penis
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
