please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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