Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
