I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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