You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize