Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
