two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
