he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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