This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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