I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
