i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
