Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize