Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
