you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
