Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
