Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
