Your tits are I can't wait for
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
