apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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