I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
