Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
