I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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