yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize