Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
