I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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