6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
