Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
