The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
