god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
