Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
