Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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