ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
honey bunches of taint.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize