I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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