Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize