did you get engaged???
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize