I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
