I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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