I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
