I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
